Oh where to start, where to start?
Life? Well first, what is life? I think of it as day-to-day happenings. I think of it as all that happens to you, that's life. hm.
So much has been happening, yet so little. I feel depressed like I used to, like before I went to Prairie View hospital. I've not had 'suicidal thoughts' or self-harming needs, but I still feel...helplessly hopeless. hm. that'd make a good poem title...better make a side note of that...
The recent losses in my social life have really affected me. Losing Jordan in October really took me down a couple notches, then losing 2 kittens, then Jana Mackey died, and then my mom's friend Teethe (Teresa). It all has really taken a toll on my emotions (and my left arm).
Sick of all the loss in the last couple months, hearing about Teethe really made me snap. I was frustraited, hurt, angry, sad, and felt the need to just...break something....which I did...I ended up punching a wall until my arm broke. Now that's surprising. I've never in my life been violent when I was angry. Actually, I've never been violent. So this was worrysome to me. I mean, violent tendencies developing inside of me? What next? I don't want to think about what else could possibly happen. My arm hurts so much....I have a doctor appointment in the morning to get a follow-up X-ray and then they'll cast it.
On another note, it seems like my friends basically live at my house. Some coming over every day. Yet I feel alone, lonely, and like I've been basically abandoned. I've never really felt the need to surround myself with my friends, but now I feel as if they've all been away for months.

's always busy, so that's understandable, but I guess, I always feel neglected by my friends now. I don't know, it's probably just the depression.
My drawing has gotten WAY better they tell me. They say I should draw with a broken arm more often, but it's hard. My arm hurts the whole way through, and gets tired so quickly. It takes me about 4-5 hours to completely finish a single small drawing. Even typing gets me worn out.
On that note, my fanfictions continue to go neglected, while I finally updated (and completed) one chapter in the novel I'm writing. I don't know...I'm not, like, super proud of it...but I don't think it's terrible...
AFW4 (Anime Festival Wichita 4) is on August 16-17th and I'm thrilled. I only have enough money to pay for my share of the room and for gas/food, but I promised Peter Pixie I'd work his booth for an hour or so and he said I got to keep a percentage of anything I sell and I also get a present :3 YAY. Because my cosplay has my knockers hanging out, I'm sure I'll draw attention to the booth lol.

said that b/c I broke my arm and everyone on the forums knows I can't do work on the farm that I work at, that I'll get sympathy presents, but I don't really want sympathy presents >>; it makes me feel bad that I can't pay for them.
Everyone on the forums said they'll give me big hugs when they see me. :3 I love my cyber-geek-friends. They make me smile. I can't wait to see everyone again. Austin (Gin), Gavin, Tobi-chan, Peter Pixie, Hanataro, TC (Dr. Hentai) and everyone. I'm so excited.
It's really late, so I'm going to finish up now. Later peeps.
Devious Comments
1) most of those things were wrote as jokes
2) y/w for the three faves
3) I know what those are
I dunno but it bothers me that you don't get that I was joking on that thing
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Don't ask me to change who I am, because I can't. Don't hate me for who I am, because I can't change that. If I could make it so no one hated me, I would. But how can I do that, when even I hate myself?
2 "Operating System" means what computer you have and what version it is
3 "Tools of the Trade" would be what do you use to draw, color, what camera do you have, what programs do you use to color, ect.
i dunno why but it bothers me that you don't know that you use a pencle as one of your tools
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I belong to the :iconnoodle-is-cute: club
~
I do line art coloring if you have something needing color but no time pass it on to me
~
stop ewu boll from ruining games with his horrible movies [link]
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I tried to put something inspirational here, but failed amazingly, so yeah, remember that you are awesome. That is all.
I really appreciate it!
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..::
Once upon a century
Wistful oceans calm and red
Ardent caresses laid to rest"
.:~*Lyrics by Nightwish*~:.
[link]
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Don't ask me to change who I am, because I can't. Don't hate me for who I am, because I can't change that. If I could make it so no one hated me, I would. But how can I do that, when even I hate myself?
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Ouran101: [link]
Musicroom: [link]
Inuyashaforest: [link]
Demonicforest: [link]
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darkness of white you can through the sadness take your flight and become the wings that pierce the veil spreading strong and true tonight, brought into the light at last by the cold exposing sun I was granted freedom tamed to become the chosen one
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Ouran101: [link]
Musicroom: [link]
Inuyashaforest: [link]
Demonicforest: [link]
--
darkness of white you can through the sadness take your flight and become the wings that pierce the veil spreading strong and true tonight, brought into the light at last by the cold exposing sun I was granted freedom tamed to become the chosen one
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ಠ_ಠ
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"Day by day in every way, I get better and better!"
- Timothy Noble
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--
darkness of white you can through the sadness take your flight and become the wings that pierce the veil spreading strong and true tonight, brought into the light at last by the cold exposing sun I was granted freedom tamed to become the chosen one
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--
"I'm an avenger
My dark soul is relentless
My name - Sasuke"
"Gaara of the sand
I fight for myself
I don't need your love"
check this link out! my friends AN pics [link]
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darkness of white you can through the sadness take your flight and become the wings that pierce the veil spreading strong and true tonight, brought into the light at last by the cold exposing sun I was granted freedom tamed to become the chosen one
Your are very good!!
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[link]
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Squa-de-lah~! We're off!
<^.^>
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love is not a reason to cry...
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darkness of white you can through the sadness take your flight and become the wings that pierce the veil spreading strong and true tonight, brought into the light at last by the cold exposing sun I was granted freedom tamed to become the chosen one
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